Thailand-Blowjobs, Kamikaze Traffic and a Sunburnt Arse- Welcome to Chiang Mai

Posted by on Nov 6, 2015
chiang mai temple, pai thailand, motorcycle trip to pai, motorcycle through thailand

Ban Mae Khi

I had been in Chiang Mai only one day before a decrepit old Thai man walked up asked me if I wanted a blowjob. I gave him 50 baht (2 dollars) and said

“No thanks, but maybe tomorrow” and rode off into the kamikaze traffic that exits on the mountain highway between Chiang Mai and the hippie-esque backpacker party town of Pai.

chiang mai temple, pai thailand, motorcycle trip to pai, motorcycle through thailand

Fear and Loathing Chiang-Vegas

chiang mai temple, pai thailand, motorcycle trip to pai, motorcycle through thailand, thailand road dog

Vicious Thai road dog- just waiting for the right moment to tear out your soul

You haven’t lived until you have raced a scooter with bald tyres and no brakes, up and down a mountain that consists of a tiny road, loose gravel, rabid testicle eating dogs  and every motherfucking vehicle known to mankind travelling above and beyond the speed limit (what speed limit?) with every intention of running you off a cliff-because that’s how the traffic rolls in South East Asia.

It’s late October which is the “cool” season in Northern Thailand, but sure enough I have gone and sunburnt every inch of my body, from the ballbag all the way to the crack of my white western arse. Even blow jobs hurt (well that old guy was kinda cute) After slathering myself in sunscreen and taking off down the road, it’s quite amusing to see the local people have a laugh at your own expense, just another weird tourist getting around. Maybe that’s why Thailand is known as “The Land of Smiles”-they just can’t stop pissing themselves laughing at all us dumb-bastard tourists.

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Child slaves soliciting gullible westerners for cash. Aww but they so cute *hands satan’s little helpers fistfuls of cash*

 

Kilometres travelled so far 2100km

Incarcerations 0

Flat tyres 0

Thai road dog attacks 27

2 Comments

  1. simon
    December 24, 2015

    bahahahahaha yes many weird old men around thailand. Fucken dipshits

    Reply
    • dags
      December 24, 2015

      they make me cringe man, so fucking creepy

      Reply

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