Mexico: Cozumel-Motorcycle the Ocean

Posted by on Jun 4, 2016

 

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I rode straight off the pier at Playa Del Carmen and sped across the water to Cozumel. Nearing the island I unfortunately ran over a sea urchin, which punctured both my tyres, so I sank to the bottom and rode the rest of the way across the sea floor.

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Beautiful beaches totally free from humans…err except me of course.

Stunned loggerhead turtles, manta-rays and whale sharks all dropped their tacos and formed a fishy stampede to clear the way as I coasted over the coral and past shipwrecks until finally reaching the beach. My bike ‘Bumblebee’ and I launched out of the water, running over some obese, pasty-white Americans that were asleep on the sand, then took off into the jungle wilderness that is Cozumel.

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Welcome to the jungle

This is a real island paradise-white sand and beautiful beaches, with small surf on one side and pristine diving environments on the other. The town of Cozumel is actually quite large and has crazy Mexicans driving erratically all over the place, tourists decked out in scuba gear scoffing tacos in between dives and a Hooters. Seriously, what else do you need?

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Vicious penis-devouring monsters everywhere….

There are some small Mayan ruins on the north of the island that are guarded by vicious testicle-eating lizards (so I assume its safe for most Americans to visit there) and the rest is pretty much still covered in jungle.

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Here are some old rocks and stuff.

To the south is a swampy lagoon that is infested with deranged man-eating crocodiles, that launch out of the water and gobble up unsuspecting tourists that take photos too close to the edge. The temperature soars to about one thousand degrees farenheit and the humidity sits at around ten billion percent, so I rode my bike underwater most of the time, just to cool off.

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“Put a shirt on ya dickhead!”

I stayed at Beds Friends hostel and I recommend this place quite highly because of the great vibe, comfy beds and the great bar and kitchen. There are lots of hammocks to crash out in too.

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Beds Friends Hostel, Cozumel

The diving in Cozumel is absolutely incredible. I fired up the bike, put all my scuba gear on and rode down the beach into the water. The whole island is basically a protected marine park and all manner of creatures can be seen, from enormous crabs lazing about, to speeding barracuda’s that shoot past at a breakneck pace.

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Captain Nemo made an appearance.

I unfortunately ran out of fuel, so I grabbed hold of a passing submarine and finished my circumnavigation of Cozumel before the sun set.

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“Hey guys! do you have any spare petrol?”

Packing all my gear away and covering my bike with anti rust spray, i took off into the nether and made my way to the crazy town of Playa del Carmen.

dags

  • Kilometres travelled- 20 666
  • Flat tyres- 11 and 1/2
  • Incarcerations- 0
  • Barracuda bites- 2. One on each ass-cheek.
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Get to Cozumel and chill the fuck out.

Cozumel-Island of Paradise

1 Comment

  1. Jonny
    June 4, 2016

    Cool

    Reply

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